Okay, once again, it is time for the
Dr Gloom team to pass a diagnosis on the season just gone. We would ask
the team to provide a sample for us for but since there are still
no pots at St James', that would be difficult. Let's have a look at how
things panned out:
How has the season turned out compared with your prediction?
Doctor Gloom:
I think I predicted a top 8 finish so I was way off the mark but of
course we will never know if Allardyce would have done better if Freddie
Shepherd had stayed although I suspect he wouldn’t have. At one
stage I genuinely thought we would be relegated despite KK being here
but I suppose it turned out alright in the end and we can hope for better
things next season.
Optimistic Boy:
True to form, I thought we would win something - I reckon we could have
done something like Portsmouth (or even Cardiff - they're no better than
us). That was before the players (the rest of this sentence has been deleted
by our legal team).
Graphs Boy:
Poorly. I genuinely thought Alladyce was going to lead us to a top
six position and don't forget - we beat some pretty good teams in our
pre-season games. It now looks that the only reason we managed that was
because Fat Sam wasn't in a competition and so didn't feel the need to
play negatively.
Which game would you rate as our best performance??
Doctor Gloom:
Without a doubt, the victory at Tottenham. This one was always a game
we could have afforded to lose and yet still get back on track on our
fight to pull away from the bottom few and yet we won it in a style not
seen for a long time from our players. It also confirmed that KK was correct
in playing all three strikers in the same game and it also showed a team
spirit that I thought was not possible form this bunch of players. All
of that, of course, was down to the manager
Optimistic Boy:
have to agree with the doc, largely because this has been such a dreary
season and wins like this stand out (not long ago, tonking spurs was routine).
Of course, by then the players had obviously (the rest of this sentence
was deleted by our legal team).
Graphs Boy:
Stoke in the FA Cup. The pressure was on and the southern press and
TV were keen to see us embarrassed when we were on the bottom but the
players stuck together to give a two fingered salute to the vultures.
Which, then, was the worst performance?
Doctor Gloom:
This is a difficult one when you consider how many bad performances
we have seen. I suppose the fact that we lost against a team with even
a worse record than the mackems had would mean that the away defeat to
Derby was the worst.
Optimistic Boy:
Both Derby defeats - we gave them most of their points this season, and
they are the only team in the history of the premiership to make the Mackems
look decent (well at least less crap). Of course, this was during the
period when the players were trying to (the rest of this sentence has
been deleted by our legal department).
Graphs Boy:
I agree. Derby was definately a low point and what's worse is that
our three points of charity weren't enough to preserve the Mackems record
as worst team ever in the Premiership.
Which players have impressed the most?
Doctor Gloom:
Probably for me Steve Harper. I do not think that it was coincidence
that our winning streak came at the same time as Harper taking over from
Shay in goal and I just hope that KK remembers how well Steve has played
next season when Given is fit again.
In the outfield I don’t think there are many players who have put
a foot wrong but I suppose I would go for the front three of Martins,
Owen and Viduka when they are all on together and defensively Habib Beye
has had a great season.
Optimistic Boy:
Beye, but only in the latter half of the season - before then he was affected
by the players trying to (deleted).
Graphs Boy:
Harper, Beye and Owen have provided a decent spine in the team.
What about the disappointments, player wise?
Doctor Gloom:
It is all too obvious to go for Smith, who is probably the most expensive
disappointment ever, so I am going to be a little controversial and go
for two players that I really like in James Milner and Charles N’Zogbia.
Bearing in mind that for the first half of KKs games we had Milner AND
N’Zogbia on each side of a fit Owen and yet weren’t even creating
chances never mind scoring any goals and yet as soon as we play Martins
and Viduka with Owen the goals started to flow.
Optimistic Boy:
Smith, although why I should be disappointed by a striker who has rarely
scored goals is a mystery. Given looked shaky all season & a lot of
his kicking was very suspect - clearly having your bowels kicked out does
little for top class athletes. Nzogbia has looked disinterested all year
and I don't believe that Duff and Emre were really that injured for so
long again, you have to wonder if the players (deleted).
Graphs Boy:
I will be obvious then and say Smith. It's not a question of ability
(although he is lacking in that department), it's that fact that he is
a chicken pure and simple. All he ever wants to do is hide when the team
are pressing forward and the number of moves that broke down due to his
back passing and unwillingness to take on men and have a go made me fume
at times. For £60,000 a week, I'd expect a striker to show a lot
more gumption than he ever has.
What were the defining moments of the season?
Doctor Gloom:
I think the bringing back of Keegan has to top the list. We might
have stayed up with Big Sam but we will never know. What we do know is
that we can look forward to next season with a lot more confidence and
know that we will see much better performances than we could have with
Allardyce at the helm.
Even then, there was what seems like a long while when I couldn’t
see us scoring another goal but the away goal by Owen that claimed a draw
against Birmingham was the start of a great fightback in the battle against
relegation.
Optimistic Boy:
Obviously, the Kevolution, preceded by the getting rid of Allerdyce. But
the defining moment was when Optimistic Son, as we getting thrashed by
the Scum, suggested going shopping instead. When the youngns vote with
their feet, the writing is on the wall.
Graphs Boy:
Alladyce being sacked. It was all just too depressing for words and
I even used to get irritated by the fact that he often got out of explaining
his poor team performances and selections by refusing to talk to the BBC
(which is against Premiership rules by the way) due to his petty dispute
with them.
Which was the most satisfying victory?
Doctor Gloom:
I don’t think many would argue that I go for the victory over
the mackems. Having, witnessed so many defeats against this lot as a youngster,
and also growing up in a “half and half” area most people
know how much I hate this game as I just can't stand gloating mackems.
I still have many mackem friends and they will agree that I never gloat
when WE win………………..I “just love
it” all the same!
Optimistic Boy:
Do you know, I can't really think of one other than the Spurs game. Once
it was obvious what the players were (deleted).
Graphs Boy:
Spurs. I know I should say the Mackems but I just can't stand this
pseudo top five wannabee cockney club.
Finally, how do you think we will fare next season, Cups and League?
Doctor Gloom:
Carling Cup…………Possible chance if we avoid
top 4 teams early on.
FA Cup……………..No chance….probably knocked
out by Arsenal.
League…………….I am tempted to say 5th but
really we should be top 8 at least and I will be happy with that as long
as we see some good football and at least beat the teams we are supposed
to beat when we play them at home.
Optimistic Boy:
his season we we will definitely win a cup, and will tussle for 4th place
with liverpool, who will struggle once their only decent player gets a
knock. We will watch entertaining, often frustrating football, then there
will be a monumental bust-up between Kev & the Dwaaaf, followed by
the players (deleted).
Graphs Boy:
We won't win anything because Keegan is managing us again. It'll be
a lot of fun and there'll be plenty of shits and giggles along the way
but as much as I love him, I'm afraid Kev is not the man to win us any
silverware. In fact, with the way the London Mafia are behaving, I'd back
Keegan to walk out at some point in the season and I wouldn't blame him.
On the field? I'll go for tenth in the league.
I hope you have all enjoyed visiting our little site this season despite
the many bad times. I always feel that when we share our disappoinments
they are not quite as bad so I thank everyone who contributed this season
and hope that you all come back next season when things could be a lot
better.............I hope they will be anyway.
As always my biggest thanks go to Graphs Boy for all of his technical
expertise.
HOWAY THE LADS!
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End of season round up
